With the way life moves so quickly and with such intensity, it is easy to become completely consumed in our own personal struggles and accomplishments. It is because of this that it is even easier to dismiss the feelings and experiences of others.
We know that everybody has their own silent battles to fight. We know it in theory, but we don't always acknowledge it in totality. This is because, as humans, we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves.
As a result, we often take things personally. When someone is dismissive, impatient or rude with us, we take it to heart and let it ruin our day. Subconsciously, we believe that how we've been treated is a reflection of our intrinsic value, so it affects our mood.
Then what do we tend to do? We pass this on to the next person. We let our bad mood affect the way we treat others and thus, continue to the perpetual cycle of negativity.
By no means am I saying that temper tantrums and outbursts of rage are acceptable ways of expressing a build up of negative emotions. There are always healthy ways to deal with unpleasant emotions without allowing them to affect other people.
What I am saying, however, is that we live in a world where people have various levels of understanding. So you will inevitably cross paths with individuals who are going to let their inner turmoil spill onto anyone in their vicinity. Don't be one of these people.
It can be hard to thoughtfully respond, instead of react, when someone displaces their pent-up emotions on you; but most of the time, it has nothing to do with you. They are usually caught up in the vicious cycle of negativity and are not at the level of emotional intelligence or understanding to appropriately handle their emotions.
You can be the one who breaks the chain. Don't let people suck you into the negative cycle. Your level of calm and maturity allows you to override your visceral emotional reflex by using logic and reasoning. You understand that in the same way that you've worked your butt off, climbed mountains, jumped through hoops and broken barriers to make it through to this stage in your life, other people have done the same thing.
It's easy to be in the position of judgement when someone is not doing what we think they should, but it takes a lot more effort to put yourself in their shoes. What might it have taken to make it to this point? How many times did they contemplate giving up?
You don't need to be their therapist, but taking that understanding approach allows you to detach other people's behaviour from your personal value. It allows you to self-regulate, manage your emotions and delay judgement.
Realise that anyone could make the same false judgements about you without knowing your full story and how you made it here. So just be kind and give some grace.
"Be kind. You never know what it took for someone else to make it this far." - SKBF
Ready to harness your true power and transform into a master of your emotions? Click here to grab your copy of my book now!
Are you going to break the cycle of negativity?
0%Definitely...it has to stop!
0%I'm going to try... I'm working on my emotional intelligence
0%I can't...sorry 😕
We have to normalise being kind and understanding 💛